I can pick my friends

Discover Challenge: Open-minded

Hold your tongue.  Let her finish talking. I inhale deeply, trying not to make it sound like a sigh. She might have a valid point.

Now I am a strong, educated woman. A woman of achievement. Years ago I probably would not have said that about myself, but my friends and colleagues have convinced me that I need to acknowledge and be proud of my accomplishments.  That being said, why oh why, do I attract female friends who are domineering, have personalities bigger than life and think they know more than I do?

Of course, these women are not totally to blame. They may be the one to make the initial overture, but their powerful personalities draw me in like the proverbial moth to the flame. Usually what seals the deal and solidifies our friendship is the moment when my soon to be nemesis stands up for me in a difficult situation—an unpleasant salesperson or an unkind co-worker.2-mature-women-laughing-300x200

I want to be open-minded. What if my friend is right? What if I’m too close to the situation and can benefit from their objectivity? What if walking away from the interaction or turning the other cheek is not in my best interest? Maybe I need to hear them out. Maybe they are right.

Really, I don’t pick these women. I am a magnet. They see me coming and say, “There she is. She’s the one. I can tell her how to run her life. I can solve all her problems.” In their defense, they are not bad women. They are not evil or have malicious intentions. It’s just their nature.

But I’m done! You might think I’m close-minded. I don’t care. No more! Slowly weaning these women out of my life hasn’t been easy, but I’m more at peace.

I’ve been chatting for over a month with a member of the book club I attend. No surprise—she’s ebullient, out-going, opinionated. I love her humor and her intensity. She knows how to stand up for herself.

“That’s interesting,” I say aloud as she offers me some advice. “I’ll definitely think about that.”

“How about lunch tomorrow?”

I pull out my calendar. Listen to your gut. “Oh, wow. I can’t believe how crazy my schedule is. I’ll call you, okay.”

I inhale deeply and sigh. Thatta girl.


Look up! Look down!

Daily Prompt: Eyes

“Really. What do you think about this dress?”

No! No! Don’t ask me that, girlfriend. You’re doing good on your diet, but you still have at least 15 pounds to lose. And you have a big butt, which actually I’m actually a little envious of, but it does make the back of the dress hike up a little bit. And you’re my best friend. I love you. Please, please, don’t ask me this question. I’m groaning inside.

Woman with big round butt in tight blue pants walkingflat butt

“Does it look good on me?” She’s eyeing herself in the mirror and making eye-contact with me at the same time in her reflection. God I hate that. All hairdressers should be flogged for inventing that move. Maybe if I move to the other side of the dressing room. Not working. The dressing room is the size of a bathroom on an airplane.

I remind myself that I’m the girlfriend. No matter what! She cannot buy that dress. Okay. Think. Think. Okay. Got it!

“It looks okay, (lie) but the blue one looks better (truth). It’s a little bit longer (true) and makes your legs look longer (half truth).” I could ask her to try the blue one on again. But I’m so tired and my feet hurt. No. Not going to do that.

Yikes. Was I looking up and to the right? Is that the direction that means I’m lying? Maybe the lying direction is to the left. Dammit! Just look her right in the eye and smile.

“Come on, girlfriend. Let’s keep shopping! We can do better!” That’s the truth, so it doesn’t matter which way I look.

Inside I’m screaming. Not only do I not like to shop, but we’ve been at the mall for two hours and we’re no closer to finding a dress than we started. Maybe I can talk her into slacks. Yes. That’s the way to go. I can do it.

It’s like I’m a kid all over again. Look up, look down, look all around! Remember that game? Probably not. It’s a pretty old game. The leader shouts, “look up” or “look down.” I never could figure out exactly what the rules were, but screaming was involved and I always got eliminated early because I screamed when I wasn’t looking at someone, and I guess that wasn’t right.

“Oh, hey, look. Starbucks! Let’s get a coffee and decide where we’re going next.”

“By the way, those jeans look really good on you (truth). Did we get them the last time we were at the mall? Maybe we should think about slacks (truth)? What do you think?”