I can pick my friends

Discover Challenge: Open-minded

Hold your tongue.  Let her finish talking. I inhale deeply, trying not to make it sound like a sigh. She might have a valid point.

Now I am a strong, educated woman. A woman of achievement. Years ago I probably would not have said that about myself, but my friends and colleagues have convinced me that I need to acknowledge and be proud of my accomplishments.  That being said, why oh why, do I attract female friends who are domineering, have personalities bigger than life and think they know more than I do?

Of course, these women are not totally to blame. They may be the one to make the initial overture, but their powerful personalities draw me in like the proverbial moth to the flame. Usually what seals the deal and solidifies our friendship is the moment when my soon to be nemesis stands up for me in a difficult situation—an unpleasant salesperson or an unkind co-worker.

I want to be open-minded. What if my friend is right? What if I’m too close to the situation and can benefit from their objectivity? What if walking away from the interaction or turning the other cheek is not in my best interest? Maybe I need to hear them out. Maybe they are right.

Really, I don’t pick these women. I am a magnet. They see me coming and say, “There she is. She’s the one. I can tell her how to run her life. I can solve all her problems.” In their defense, they are not bad women. They are not evil or have malicious intentions. It’s just their nature.

But I’m done! You might think I’m close-minded. I don’t care. No more! Slowly weaning these women out of my life hasn’t been easy, but I’m more at peace.

I’ve been chatting for over a month with a member of the book club I attend. No surprise—she’s ebullient, out-going, opinionated. I love her humor and her intensity. She knows how to stand up for herself.

“That’s interesting,” I say aloud as she offers me some advice. “I’ll definitely think about that.”

“How about lunch tomorrow?”

I pull out my calendar. Listen to your gut. “Oh, wow. I can’t believe how crazy my schedule is. I’ll call you, okay.”

I inhale deeply and sigh. Thatta girl.